Considering the day, we are not really in the party mood. Its one year today since Doctor L arrived at our door with the news that started it all.
We were not that bothered about the usual fireworks, as they held bad memories. But as it was normal what we did, so we got some. It was a small box, it was not going to be as fun as the ones we had over previous years.
Mandy was quiet. She was sitting on bench in the garden drinking. I had not been keeping count of how much she had drunk so far. I could see the sadness on her face, The same sadness I felt in my heart, the heart with the scar of Kim's illness and passing.
It must be so hard for her, having her birthday as reminder of the horrible time we have had, and the losted member of the family.
I walked across the laminate flooring that had a strip of mud from my work boot flop on to a year ago. Under the rope I had to keep the kids back. And up to the point where I was last year.
Just as I went to light the first firework, the doorbell busts into life. A silhouette appears in the doorway lit with the same naked 100w light bulb that hangs from the ceiling. A shudder of remembrance runs though my body, as this was too much like last year.
It was one of our friends, as I waved and said hello. I thought, I wonder if Dr L is having a better November 5th this year. I leant down and lit the first firework.
As the last one banged in the sky, the smoke hanging in the damp cold air, my clothes soaked with fine mist of rain in the air. Just like that fateful evening 12 month ago. I hear Mandy weeping on her friends shoulder and saying “ I miss her so much”
I look up into the sky and mutter “so do I Mandy, so do I “
No comments:
Post a Comment