Its November 5th and I am driving along, Jim is on the radio. He is asking “What does bonfire night means to you.” Most of them were happy stories. I started to enjoy them, snapshots of people happy times. When it has a shade of sadness for me.
A new subject is added to the mix, stress. This got me thinking and linking the subjects together. I pulled over and started to write a text. Now this text was lost as soon as I sent it, so this is what I roughly remember texting in to the show.
“a year ago today I was told my Stepdaugher had acute leukemia, So as you can guess I am a bit stressed today”
I carried on driving, and a few minutes later Jim read it out, there was a pause, “I bet” broke the silence on air. Its not often you hear Jim lost for words. Shortly after arriving back at site, my phone rang. It was Maggie the producer of the show, asking if I would go on air.
I decided that it was probably for the best if I did not. Replying “ Not today. Its all too raw to talk about. Anyway I don't think Jim would want a blubbering mess live on air” She fully understood, and asked if I was ok. That was a bit weird, a stranger on the phone checking I was ok. I said I was as fine I could be on a day like today, and threatened to find Jim when he next does his sit on a bench and chat to anyone that chat to him, the next time he is in my town.
This is local radio, so local that if I said yes, I would have been on it. Scary thought.
3 days off.
Its the 28th October, half term week. I am in in the first two day and off for the rest of the week. A break from the madness of work, time to support the family a bit more. Oh and more importantly a lie in.
But before I can start with the 3 days off, I need to do something. Chase up my appointment. Yes, it still has not arrived 3 weeks after contacting them. I can see them telling me it going to be in the new year. Its almost 12 months now. Oh well.
Shell and a visitor look at me as I am forthright with the woman on the phone, telling them politely that I want a appointment booking right now, as two attempts at getting one, direct from ward and a call a month ago failed to secure one. She asked when my hospital stay was, there was a moment of silence on the phone when I told her. It was broken by her say right, ok, I just looking for the earliest available slot. “ I have booked you into a clinic in December, I can see the date as yet but you are on the system now, any problems please call...” She gave me her name & extension number.
So with that hopefully sorted, I turn to a another task for my 3 days off. Expand Shell bubble. This is getting her to come around town with me. With my shot gun psychology, the idea was sound, to swap/share the safety of home onto another object or person. Namely me.
I did not get too far, I did not even stop the landrover. Shell was not having it, she got lock into the fear and there was no shaking it. So I did not push it too much and we returned home. I am at a loss at why she is doing this, and she says she does not have a problem. And there lies the first problem getting her to admit she has a problem.
2 days after the phone call a letter arrives, Its from the hospital. Result, I am going on the 22 December at 2.30. It lands on the week after the students finish for Christmas, so no worries with cover to go. Shame I lost the name and extention number of the administrator that sorted it, would of like to phone her back and thank her for sorting it out, almost twelve months after someone else should of.
But before I can start with the 3 days off, I need to do something. Chase up my appointment. Yes, it still has not arrived 3 weeks after contacting them. I can see them telling me it going to be in the new year. Its almost 12 months now. Oh well.
Shell and a visitor look at me as I am forthright with the woman on the phone, telling them politely that I want a appointment booking right now, as two attempts at getting one, direct from ward and a call a month ago failed to secure one. She asked when my hospital stay was, there was a moment of silence on the phone when I told her. It was broken by her say right, ok, I just looking for the earliest available slot. “ I have booked you into a clinic in December, I can see the date as yet but you are on the system now, any problems please call...” She gave me her name & extension number.
So with that hopefully sorted, I turn to a another task for my 3 days off. Expand Shell bubble. This is getting her to come around town with me. With my shot gun psychology, the idea was sound, to swap/share the safety of home onto another object or person. Namely me.
I did not get too far, I did not even stop the landrover. Shell was not having it, she got lock into the fear and there was no shaking it. So I did not push it too much and we returned home. I am at a loss at why she is doing this, and she says she does not have a problem. And there lies the first problem getting her to admit she has a problem.
2 days after the phone call a letter arrives, Its from the hospital. Result, I am going on the 22 December at 2.30. It lands on the week after the students finish for Christmas, so no worries with cover to go. Shame I lost the name and extention number of the administrator that sorted it, would of like to phone her back and thank her for sorting it out, almost twelve months after someone else should of.
Betws Y Coed
I am taken a trip out to Betws Y Coed. I find a parking space, and hear a student say “he won't get it in there”, I did it easily. It is amazing how people that only drive small cars misjudge the space needed for vehicles that are a bit bigger. True the minibus did fill the parking space, but that's just life.
With the students and member of staff walking around the area, I decided to head off and look around. I noticed a sign for a railway museum. So I went to nose around it, as I have a interest in historical engineering. I walk though the doors for the museum and get welcomed by a model shop.
The Shop is laid out like a little kid dream, locomotives, rolling stock and scenic items for model train sets everywhere. I am not really bothered by this stuff, it not my thing. As I look around I spot some airfix kits, including a big spitfire. This one could have a small 6volt motor fitted to make the propeller turn slowly, I had a thing about spitfires. I had and to a extent still do have a thing about flight and aircraft. I had been a air cadet for 7 years, and really enjoyed it. Unfortunately this airfix spitfire had a price tag as big as it scale.
So I paid to go into the museum, a odd place with a mix of model and real artefacts of the railway age. I was looking at telegraph system bits they had on display, when I hear a child going, “ mum, how did that work? Where is the bit you talk into?” and the mother being lost for answers, I knew the answer to some of his questions. I remembered back to Kim asking similar questions when we were out and about.
This remembering was broken when I hear this lad asking “ Do you know how they work” and I realise he is asking me. I am a bit worried that I look rude or a pervert in the next couple of seconds, then I realise I am wearing college branded clothing. And to them I look like a educator / safe person. I reply with “a little bit” I look at his mother, who has a relived look on her face, Like she knew his question on this would carry on all day if he did not get an answer. I answered his questions, his mother thanked me and I carried on looking around.
I headed back to the minibus for lunch and a coffee. As I sat there eating a swished ham sandwich, I thought of a TV program I saw a couple of nights before call flash forward. Where everyone fall asleep for about 2 minutes at the same time and see their lives in 6 months time.
Then the what if, came into my head. What if this happened for real, and Kim saw herself being treated, would it have changed the date of diagnosis? What out come would that have had? What if it happened during treatment so the future was just blackness to her, as she was not alive? What would of that done to her head?
What if I sat in a minibus think about what could of happened if Sci fi show concept really did happen? Oh wait. Hang on, that's happening for real. I look down at my boots, hold back a tear, oh God how I miss her.
With the students and member of staff walking around the area, I decided to head off and look around. I noticed a sign for a railway museum. So I went to nose around it, as I have a interest in historical engineering. I walk though the doors for the museum and get welcomed by a model shop.
The Shop is laid out like a little kid dream, locomotives, rolling stock and scenic items for model train sets everywhere. I am not really bothered by this stuff, it not my thing. As I look around I spot some airfix kits, including a big spitfire. This one could have a small 6volt motor fitted to make the propeller turn slowly, I had a thing about spitfires. I had and to a extent still do have a thing about flight and aircraft. I had been a air cadet for 7 years, and really enjoyed it. Unfortunately this airfix spitfire had a price tag as big as it scale.
So I paid to go into the museum, a odd place with a mix of model and real artefacts of the railway age. I was looking at telegraph system bits they had on display, when I hear a child going, “ mum, how did that work? Where is the bit you talk into?” and the mother being lost for answers, I knew the answer to some of his questions. I remembered back to Kim asking similar questions when we were out and about.
This remembering was broken when I hear this lad asking “ Do you know how they work” and I realise he is asking me. I am a bit worried that I look rude or a pervert in the next couple of seconds, then I realise I am wearing college branded clothing. And to them I look like a educator / safe person. I reply with “a little bit” I look at his mother, who has a relived look on her face, Like she knew his question on this would carry on all day if he did not get an answer. I answered his questions, his mother thanked me and I carried on looking around.
I headed back to the minibus for lunch and a coffee. As I sat there eating a swished ham sandwich, I thought of a TV program I saw a couple of nights before call flash forward. Where everyone fall asleep for about 2 minutes at the same time and see their lives in 6 months time.
Then the what if, came into my head. What if this happened for real, and Kim saw herself being treated, would it have changed the date of diagnosis? What out come would that have had? What if it happened during treatment so the future was just blackness to her, as she was not alive? What would of that done to her head?
What if I sat in a minibus think about what could of happened if Sci fi show concept really did happen? Oh wait. Hang on, that's happening for real. I look down at my boots, hold back a tear, oh God how I miss her.
Well that broke it.
Fuel station closed for delivery, damn. It was queuing before. Its a good thing I go to try and fuel at half a tank. I now have less than I would like, but enough to do the drop off run tonight, then I can fuel after it.
As I am in Meifod, Sharron one of the drivers texts. She is having problems with her minibus. She is slowly making her way back to the college, but wants me to come over and have a look, or stay with her if she has to wait for recovery. Before I can phone her Barry rings, he tells me Sharron can only hear on her phone but cant talk, I found out where she is from him, it is only 17 miles away. As I text her to say I'm on my way, I spot a problem I have.
I do not have enough fuel to get to her and get back to site. So I have to go back to Oswestry fuel and head out. That will make the trip 21 miles, adding 4 miles to it. Oh well, that life. As I drive back to town, I can see the problem Sharron was having, She could not phone the breakdown service. As the microphone on her phone was defective.
I arrive to find her stopped at the cross roads to a very busy 60 mile an hour road. I can see, why she stop. People overtake on this road in the most dangerous places when your doing 50mph. And this bus is being driven at 30mph. Where is it is not the best of places to leave a minibus in the dark. We know there is a slow road that has a car park 4 miles down it that is one you can drive down at 30mph without the threat of death.
We agreed that we would get to the car park and work out if we could make it the rest of the way to the garage. Plus the car park is a pub car park, and no we not going to stop for a stiff drink.
The drive was painful slow, it was when the braking system decided it was going to join in on the fun about 100 yards from the navigation inn we knew the game was over, and work was going to have to pay for a recovery. After Phoning the breakdown company on my works mobile, we when into the inn, where in it lovely warm and inviting lounge type room away from the cold, Sharron tries to give the landlord a heart attack, by missing out the word empty when she said there was two minibuses outside.
By the time we had a lovely warming coffee, hatch a plan for liberation one of our Walford campus minibuses with my counter part on that site know. As we could not contact him (all his buses were in so his phone was off) to do the morning run. and some jokes about her breaking her bus. The Recovery truck arrived.
The broken Minibus was loaded on to it, I took a photo of it on the truck. And It was time to go. As I followed I looked at this minibus on the back of the truck.
And think there is a sad look to a minibus on the back of a recover truck.
Should of really chased that up
I have just realised something, Remember back to when I was in hospital in November 2008 and they said I would have a letter, for appointment in 6 weeks. It is now coming up to the end of September 2009. That's about 10 months!!
Ok, I can hear some mutters of 'I should of chased it up' and yes I should of kept an eye out for it. My health is important, I know. But my life has been a bit busy over the last 10 months. The thing is why have they not sent it out, is administration at a hospital that bad that they can't book a simple appointment.
Oh well, Not much can be done about it now. I just need to track down where I was meant to be having the appointment and book one. Logically I phoned Urology outpatients, who politely redirected me to an administrator to take my details. Job done, now to wait for the appointment to drop though the letter box.
Well my line manager, has decided I will burn myself out with the overtime I am doing. So has told me I should be doing only one 12 hour day a week. I am to start taking a 3 hour break in the middle of the day, 4 days a week. I can see his point, I have only been doing 12 hours for a month and I am starting to look like a zombie. This starts next week, so how am I marking the start date. Yup, Driving an evening trip to Theatre Clwyd.
There is also a route change, I am now going out to Llanefyl, then Meifod, back to site. Its a long but nice route. I can't pronounce half the names on the route, Much to the enjoyment of some of the students, that can't believe I lived on the welsh border all my life, but still can get the right pronunciation of welsh place names.
Ok, I can hear some mutters of 'I should of chased it up' and yes I should of kept an eye out for it. My health is important, I know. But my life has been a bit busy over the last 10 months. The thing is why have they not sent it out, is administration at a hospital that bad that they can't book a simple appointment.
Oh well, Not much can be done about it now. I just need to track down where I was meant to be having the appointment and book one. Logically I phoned Urology outpatients, who politely redirected me to an administrator to take my details. Job done, now to wait for the appointment to drop though the letter box.
Well my line manager, has decided I will burn myself out with the overtime I am doing. So has told me I should be doing only one 12 hour day a week. I am to start taking a 3 hour break in the middle of the day, 4 days a week. I can see his point, I have only been doing 12 hours for a month and I am starting to look like a zombie. This starts next week, so how am I marking the start date. Yup, Driving an evening trip to Theatre Clwyd.
There is also a route change, I am now going out to Llanefyl, then Meifod, back to site. Its a long but nice route. I can't pronounce half the names on the route, Much to the enjoyment of some of the students, that can't believe I lived on the welsh border all my life, but still can get the right pronunciation of welsh place names.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)