Back to work

Its time to go back to work, my head is not really in it. I am still numb over the last few weeks. Picking up students is the easy part of the job today, they usually don't talk in the mornings. Opting to sit there trying to wake up properly before reaching college.

I go for a smoke before head inside, and I bump into what must be the only person in the college that did not know about Kim. “Awright mate, how was the holiday” without thinking I reply “yes, been ok, best thing is not working on my birthday” I don't know why I said it, I think it was because it was the easy way.

I aim to keep my head down, go and check my mail slot in the staffroom. Before talking to anyone, to strengthen myself. Half way down the corridor a member of staff I get on well with comes the other way smiles “Hello, I heard about Kim, I'm sorry for your loss” I thank her, and chat a bit. Before heading off again towards the staffroom.

Going to the staff room at this time, when PA's and department administrators pick up their mail was a bit of a mistake. Standing in a prime location to bump into a large group of lovely caring compassionate people. It was nice to talk with them, but it was over powering at times.

As I walked out the door I realized, my next two week with be filled with the sayings 'sorry for your lost' , 'condolences on ...' and ' it so sad about your stepdaughter' Unlike the last time this sort of thing happened, when Kim was first in hospital, I was not angry at the over powering flow of caring. I took it as comfort or just switched off.